CannonCrotch is a free PC game. It's a side-on shooter in the style of Metal Slug or Contra.

A side-scrolling game where players control a character with a cannon on his crotch. The game's available for free here.

The game was all written, animated and scripted by Tom Brien, an independent Flash games developer in Manchester. England. The soundtrack was created by different members of the Newgrounds Audio Portal, a site for ametuer musical artists to upload their work and get feedback from the online community.


In the game's alternate history, Hitler did not die, but was captured and cryogenically frozen. Today, he was unfrozen with a plot to build a Mega-laser and blow up the Moon, causing a deadly rain of moonrock to plummet toward the Earth. His motives for doing this are unknown, assumed to be revenge. For his own protection, Hitler's personal team of Nazi scientists build a spider robot suit in which his supple body can reside, giving him the destructive capabilities of a thousand Nazi soldiers. The player controls Lieutenant Cannoncrotch, a man with a gun where his genitals should be. Lt. Cannoncrotch is called upon by the British Ministry of Defense and is given a briefing by a man known only as "The Colonel". He's dropped via airship into "Nazi HQ" and from there, his adventure begins.


At the beginning of the game, in the Nazi HQ RECEPTION, there's a massive sign that reads RECEPTION. You can highlight the text on this background art and edit it. Change it to one of the following phrases and press Enter to active a cheat:

  • ANGERMAN - Play the game with an angry face
  • PROZAC - Play the game with a happy face
  • LADYS MAN - Play the game with chest hair
  • MMYES - Play the game with a top hat and moustache
  • RAMBO - Gives you 999 machine gun bullets
  • BAZOOKER - Gives you full RPG ammunition
  • PRINCESS - Gives you 99 lives
  • SEXXXY - Play the game naked

Post-release updates

When the game was released, the keys LEFT, RIGHT and DOWN were used as navigation, A and S were used to shoot and jump, and SPACE was used for grenades. Soon after, it was made possible to jump by pressing UP, because most people felt it was more intuitive to count jumping as navigational.

Known glitches

At the first giant door in the Nazi HQ, enemies will keep respawning until the door is destroyed. After a while though, a nazi will spawn that's impossible to kill. The reason behind this can easily be explained: Each time an enemy respawns, a variable called "ENEMYCOUNT" goes up by one. To save memory space, each time ENEMYCOUNT gets higher than 50, it resets to zero and all future enemies overwrite the old ones. So there's never more 50 enemies to think about at once. This is where the problem starts: as new enemies rewrite the old ones, they take on the old enemy's characteristics. So if enemy1 is already "dead", then the new enemy1 will also be "dead". And because the computer thinks the enemy's already dead, bullets will never do any damage. The result is an unkillable Nazi glitch. You can get passed it by destroying the giant door.

At the end of Hitler's lair, there's another glitch: The disappearing power station. Basically: There are three cloning vats spawning enemies, and the only way to stop them is to destroy the power station. The reason it sometimes disappears is because: As enemies are spawned, they acquire a Depth number. The power station also has a Depth number. Each depth number can only maintain ONE element. So as the cloning vats keep spawning enemies, they eventually get to a point where an enemy will overwrite the power station, and so it'll disappear. The way to get around this is to right-click the screen and select "Play".

Upon completing the game, you get the message "BOOK OF UNUSED CONCEPTS UNLOCKED". This is meant to reffer to a an interactive sketchbook of concepts that had to be taken out of the game, or were never put in. Like the flamethrower: taken out because it could only attack close-range and thus wasn't much fun. Or Nazis on jetpacks: Never put in because the game was too late in production by the time anyone thought of it. Unfortunately, the trigger that unlocks the feature is broken, and it can't be accessed without decompiling the entire game.

The author promises that his next game will be less broken.